Suddenly after 3 weeks of intense working life, I have came to a conclusion, life is not a bed of roses. Just 3 weeks into PR life and it has completely zapped me off my energy. Incident after incident just seemed to have sucked my positivity away just like that. What happened to my positive attitude? I ask myself. Have I lost it in the midst of the screams? As I plunge deeper and deeper into all these, I awaken in the dark night only to find myself screaming in a lost. Is this what I really want? Is that what my life is mapped out for? Or is this simply a transition phase that I am going through? I have absolutely no idea. I have always gotten what I wanted and I will. But this time round, I question my abilities. I always tell myself that my attitude is what makes me special and is what that can see me through the storms. But I really am having second thoughts this time round.
I am finding it hard to rebound back to day one of working life, the happy feel and the zest of life. Now, it is worse than having to receive the order of guard duty on a weekend. What is guard duty on a weekend compared to working over the weekend? Hmmmm.....
I know that I am on the steep side of the learning curve, and not beong ashamed of this, I say that I am struggling at the deep end of the pool. Trapping water at this stage, but surely to sink soon. I do not know how to handle the pressure that I am carrying at the moment. I wish that it is as easy as dumping them off my hump. Argh!!! No one can understand what I am going through now, and so I just refuse to share it. No point sharing something that the other party would not understand. All they see of me know is fluffy Adrian hopping from party to party. Trust me, sometimes the parties are nice to go for. But when you have expectations out of the party, it no longer is a funny thing.
I just wish that I can put all these down and just escape to Perth. Carry on with my studies and see where that might lead me. Maybe I am just immature to handle the situations infront of me right now.
I need help and I need a solution fast. Before I sink further into all these and find myself in a stickier situation than now.
I am finding it hard to rebound back to day one of working life, the happy feel and the zest of life. Now, it is worse than having to receive the order of guard duty on a weekend. What is guard duty on a weekend compared to working over the weekend? Hmmmm.....
I know that I am on the steep side of the learning curve, and not beong ashamed of this, I say that I am struggling at the deep end of the pool. Trapping water at this stage, but surely to sink soon. I do not know how to handle the pressure that I am carrying at the moment. I wish that it is as easy as dumping them off my hump. Argh!!! No one can understand what I am going through now, and so I just refuse to share it. No point sharing something that the other party would not understand. All they see of me know is fluffy Adrian hopping from party to party. Trust me, sometimes the parties are nice to go for. But when you have expectations out of the party, it no longer is a funny thing.
I just wish that I can put all these down and just escape to Perth. Carry on with my studies and see where that might lead me. Maybe I am just immature to handle the situations infront of me right now.
I need help and I need a solution fast. Before I sink further into all these and find myself in a stickier situation than now.
1 comment:
Thanks for the support. Just realised that PR is all a show. The ultimate survivor is the one with superb acting skills. Not for me. I am just glad that I have my friends who keeps me grounded. =)
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